earthdad:

when someone really cute calls you cute first

image

condom:

crystal math

sylvehun:

holy shit

yes-i-am-lucifer:

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

we love you pete

snapchatting:

spice things up in bed with some communism

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

bedussey:

OMfg i was in starbucks and i saw this girl with pink hair and a shirt with an inverted cross on it and i hissed “hipster blogger” and she hissed back because she was actually a snake haha what’s a SNAKe doing in star bucks? i only have 60 followes

datjukebird:

condensation